i'm a pixel here, myself

( supernatural 1.16 shadow )

Re: moving to Thursday. Is this a network move to generate more RPS? I think it is!

Oh my fucking god. The jobs I submitted last night? Ran fine, but they used an old version of the program. I did not need this this morning, really I didn't. Phone conference in T-minus 2.5 hours. Me: really really hoping things run that fast.

In other, happier news, I'm blowing off rehearsal to watch Idol and Supernatural, though you can bet your booties that I'm skipping that last half-hour of AI for my beloved scary show. Also tonight: laundry. What an exciting life I lead.

Now I bang my head against my keyboard some more, lie like the wind, and try to think of more porny highschool things for Danny and wedding things for mcee. And ignore Remix some more. Wait, why am I doing that last one?

Shorter email this morning from one of my bosses, who works at Harvard: you suck, you haven't managed even this tiny thing, the project is way behind, and I hope your ass is working overtime today.

Shorter me: ::cries::

And that's all I have to say about work today. So all those things I was planning to read, the ones I missed over the weekend? Not gonna happen. Sorry folks. And then I have rehearsal tonight, so maybe not then either. We shall see.

But you know what? I'm not all that depressed, because if I just buckle down and work, and don't read LJ or my RSS reader (which will make reading RSS *tomorrow* rather interesting), I can probably figure out what the hell is going on and accomplish what I need to by the time I leave. I *have* to leave for rehearsal, but rehearsal is on campus, so I'm closer to it. This means that if I have to, I can work from 8:45 to 6:45. I guess that would make up for me having ducked out early on Friday. Eesh.

***

In happier news, tomorrow's Supernatural is a new one, and Papa says "hello, boys" in the *least* fatherly way imaginable. Not that I'm thinking Papa/boys, because that's the realm of, oh... robanybody? mcee? Someone like that, who has more of a JDM thing than I do. But that phrase is making me go "!!!"

That and the fact that I have soup at home (and therefore don't need to cook) are all that's keeping me going. Spam my comments! I'll get email and reply to them even if I can't read LJ proper.

I have no idea why I can't sleep. This sucks. I should just call in sick tomorrow, but I've taken a bunch of sick days in the past couple weeks, and I'm probably going to have to leave work early Friday for a cappella retreat, so that feels like a cop-out.

Unhappy thought of the night: next week half an hour of Idol conflicts with Supernatural. This is definitely not good. I'm hoping all the girls I like sing in the first hour.

In happier news, bubosquared has *finally* finished her X-Men Hooker AU (Bobby Drake (Iceman)/Jean-Paul Beaubier (Northstar)) and [posted it], along with [commentary] by her and me together. And hey, it only took most of a year from me seeing a draft to completion! Yeah, you read that right: most of a year.

Also, mcee has run away. To whom will I write more weddingfic? God, I'm going crazy. I'm *actually writing this*. No, seriously. This is the craziest fic idea I've ever had, y'all. And it is actually being born in email. ::scratches head:: I dunno, man. But the best thought, the one I had yesterday? Was that this wedding will have TWO bachelor parties. Yeah. We have to theorize that they'll happen simultaneously, so I have to figure out a roster for each. Rosenbaum is a lock for Jensen's, as is Chris. Welling's a toss-up, though I think he probably comes down on the side of The Ackles as well. So who populates Jared's bachelor party? Leave me good solid theories, people.

Only four more days until I can see Project Runway 2.12 "Reunion". Why does that feel like *forever*? Also, only six days until new Supernatural! Not like I'm counting or anything. ::cough::

American Idol Semifinals, Round 1

HOLY FUCK.

( the guys )

American Idol Semifinals Round 1
( the girls )

Today, I accomplished the following things:
* vacuumed the apartment
* folded and put away laundry
* bought a tuxedo (ouch, my wallet!)
* talked a friend down after she found out her (semi-recent super-long-term) ex is in a new relationship
* invested significant time in a new video game (Star Ocean 3: Till The End Of Time, for the PS2)
* thought about getting started on Remix
* betad more for bubosquared (it's on the way, honest!)
* wrote WB RPS weddingfic at mcee
* participated in stone_princess's poll and gave some Maryland history
* watched and commented on Project Runway 2.11 "What's Your Line"

It's a good thing I have tomorrow off, because I'm exhausted. I do have my first non-sick rehearsal tomorrow night, but that's quite doable.

I keep realizing that the day after tomorrow is Tuesday, which means Supernatural, and getting really happy, but then getting let down again when I realize it's not a new one. I also think that SPN is moving to Thursday to avoid the juggernaut that is American Idol -- after the semifinals are over, performances happen Tuesday and results Wednesday. Of course, neither is really good for me. WOE. Why don't I have cable and TiVo again? Oh yeah, because I'm a cheap money-saving bastard. Every time I think about getting cable and TiVo, I look at my savings account, realize that I can download everything if I miss it, and think hard about saving for a place of my own and my retirement. I think this classifies me as the most boring 23-year-old ever.

Stupid American Idol. I missed the first two minutes of Supernatural. ::grump:: Also, it got all windy and I had to mess with my TV antenna.

( Supernatural 1.15 )

Well, last night I finally managed to catch almost 8 hours of sleep. Interrupted, of course, because in its weakened state my body has to pee more often. Or something. Anyhow, it was nice to not be limited to four hours or so.

Idol has started Hollywood week, and I'm going to miss the second of three Hollywood days this Tuesday, along with the new Supernatural, due to Symphony rehearsal. Drat. It's hard to deal with all the LJ posts about the ep in the three hours between when you East Coast lot have finished it and when it finishes airing here -- waiting a whole day is *torture*. I've gotten used to not being able to weigh in immediately on Project Runway, but I'm not as wacky about spoilers for that.

I posted some [icons] last night. They're almost exclusively Sam, but for one of Dean cleaning his guns. I'm still in search of Dean pictures I can icon; the ones I inevitably find are too dark, or uniconable for some other reason.

It took me all morning to get through my RSS reader's backlog. That's impressive.

( supernatural 1.14 nightmare )

In conclusion: LOVE. Time to find the torrent.

( supernatural 1.13 route 666 )

I'm sure I'll remember other things as I read other peoples' posts, but that's it for now.

Also, for minotaurs, one of the guys in the new Taco Bell commercial is that guy from Big Wolf On Campus.

Also also, there was a Ford Mustang commercial during the show that had ghost horses turning into a ghost car that merged with a real Mustang, which then drove around without a driver. Good marketing, or bad?

a. Right now I really, really, really want a bag of peanut M&Ms from the downstairs vending machine, but I'm being good and not going to get them because I'm really trying to cut back on snacky things. Lunch was leftover chicken/broccoli/rice from yesterday, and my snack was a granola bar. I'm going to go to the gym after work and make my body do things it doesn't want to do for 45 minutes, then go home and collapse. I'm not even really *dieting* so much as cutting out some of the crap I eat. I figured a granola bar would fill me as much as a bag of M&Ms, but I was wrong. Tomorrow I'll bring carrots, too.

Why is this (read: minor food changes/decreases to lose weight) so hard?

b. Singing a concert this Saturday with the a cappella folks. It should be fun, but my music director won't give us a setlist. Partly because he likes to make it up on the spot, but partly because he's a sadist. I like knowing the set in advance so I can prepare for any songs I may not have sung in a while. Fortunately I'm not the only T1 this time. I really like these guys and I'm glad I found them. Now if we could just get the $&%*ing CD out...

c. [This] image just showed up in my RSS reader. Hi-freaking-larious. What would *your* caption be? So, *SO* not worksafe.

d. [Another RSS entry]. Thanks to minotaurs for pointing me to Made In Brazil -- some really hot boys show up there!

e. No posts by me on American Idol yet because they're still in the mostly-loathsome audition rounds. When we get to the semifinals and the final 12 I'll start having opinions. Last night was just me going "get that kid off my screen" a lot and wondering why I hadn't auditioned, since SF had such crap singers.

f. Okay, someone entertain me now. I am SO BORED and have played all the Sudoku and Mahjongg I can handle at the moment.

a. You hear the collective moan from the Supernatural folks? It's followed by a little cheer from me: no new episode tonight. Which means I won't feel bad about missing the show tonight due to rehearsal. Plus, I still have back eps to finish.

b. I saw a post quoted on metafandom about incest fic and how people are kind of thinking it's like the new slash -- a somewhat overlooked side branch of the genre, with its twisted little audience, etc. etc. etc. And there was a kind of "is incest the new slash because slash has become so mainstream?" question, which interested me because I do read incest fic, but not because of the taboo. My predilection for twinfic (though, strangely, not the Weasleys) could possibly stem from liking narcissism fic, which would explain why I like polyjuice fic so much, but the Sam/Dean love isn't really based on any previous pairing attraction. I think I approach incest fic on a case-by-case basis by pairing, rather than approaching it as a category. Which, interestingly, is how I approach *all* fanfic -- and this made me wonder whether or not the incest taboo carries over to fanfic with the strength it once had.

Part of the "incest is the new slash" argument hinges on the fact that slash, once taboo, is now commonplace. The folks who were reading slash for the taboo-ness of it, therefore, are forced to move onto something more taboo, and since they were already reading fanfic, centered on incest fic. But what I've been realizing as I've read (and written) Supernatural fic is that the incest taboo isn't really coming around to smack me in the face the way I expected it to. This can mean one of three things:

1) I am a sick, twisted, perverted individual with no morals and am probably not fit to be seen with any of you.
2) Supernatural is an exception because goddamn, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki are hot.
3) Incest, at least in fiction, is no longer the taboo it once was.

I'd be interested to hear how others in this fandom deal with the incest angle. That is, does it come up at all in your head? Do you rationalize it away or deal with it head-on? What goes through your mind as you watch the show?

Edit: I'm thinking specifically of Supernatural as I write this, which meant I hadn't considered het incest or parent/child (or other relative/child) incest, both of which I have since discovered squick the hell out of me. Clearly I have some more thinking of my own to do. I'd still love to hear your takes on this!

a. No less than three people on my friendslist have mentioned their dreams this morning. For the record, I rarely remember my dreams, but last night I dreamed I was in the basement of a very tall school that was half monkeys and half humans. We had to read a series of books about bananas. Also, our classes were on the top floor, and the one set of keys to all the rooms up there was carried by a teacher from my high school that I'd met and was friendly with, but had never had in the classroom. I had to take her keys upstairs to unlock the doors.

I don't have a *clue* what this means, but if you dream analysis people want to go to town on it, feel free.

b. I have a sneaking suspicion that I've forgotten something I need to do today. I hate it when that happens. I really should start keeping an actual to-do list.

c. Saw Project Runway 2.07 and liked it. Squealed about it with Missi and did the obligatory Andrae/Dan V vs. Andrae/Santino debate. Not much else to report.

d. mistletoemagic authors have been revealed, and I want to thank baleheadbabe for writing me fabulous Oliver/Cedric porn: [Like A Game Sometimes]. I wrote Oliver/Cedric as well (with a Twins cameo!), for anothersuperboy: [Gratitude].

e. My credit card-canceling form came through! This means I can go ahead and close my East Coast bank account. Not much money in there, but it'll be nice to have that over and done with.

f. This week? Busy. Rehearsal Monday and Tuesday having E over for American Idol on Wednesday, and doing something with friends Friday. Yeesh. Thursday I'm going to have to buckle down and try to think of something for the HP springsmut thing, because I haven't started at all and I have no idea what I'm going to do!

Watching 1.12 "Faith" instead of replying to snail mail that's a month old.

( spoilery )

Can I just say how wonderful it is to have a friendslist whose SPN reactions aren't completely contradictory to mine? I see a lot of people posting things like "I can't believe people are saying X" and I look around my flist and nobody's saying X. So nice.

Also, GIP. The car's name comes from cathybites.