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And now it's time for the lamest show on earth! I can't believe the theme is "Songs of the 21st century" -- what a cop-out. ANYway, here we go.
Lisa Tucker - "Because Of You" - girl was PITCHY. She's got a lot of power, but she's super-flat. Simon nailed it: the song was too big for her. And oh, look, more Seacrest vs. Judges nonsense. Sigh.
Kellie Pickler - "Suds In The Bucket" - Ugh. Okay, the song is boring and she's twanging it up, PLUS the low stuff is way below the range at which she loses her power. She just. Okay, I can't coherently react to her because I loathe her. The judges, all in agreement, are correct.
Ace Young - "Drops Of Jupiter" - sorry, Ace, honey, you don't have the chops to pull this off. Get the voice out of your nose and then we'll talk. It's also, dare I say, boring. The freaking puppy eyes, though. WHAT THE FUCK. Okay, are they trying to do A-Fed Redux? We did not need to see that scar, nor did we need the close-up on his (shaved?) chest.
Taylor Hicks - "Trouble" - as with The Pickler, I can't coherently react to him. HATE. I, unsurprisingly, have never heard this song. BORING. ...Seacrest, you are NOT allowed to insult the most popular judge and the most popular winner.
Mandisa - "Wanna Praise You" - okay, her range is amazing, but I was... not impressed. Less impressed than I'd expected to be, given what she's done before, certainly. Wow, and Simon nails it: indulgent.
Chris Daughtry - "What If?" - are you fucking KIDDING me? Boy did CREED?! Ugh.
Katharine McPhee - "The Voice Within" - well, it's like Christina in the run-ful-ness. The pitch? Maybe not the best. I don't agree with Simon, who said she was best of the night so far.
Bucky Covington - "Real Good Man" - snore. I have nothing else to add.
Paris Bennett - "Work It Out" - okay, that was pretty amazing. I'm not a Béyóncé fan, but Paris did it right.
Elliot Yamin - "I Don't Want To Be" - I hate this song with a passion. His vocals are great, but... argh.
Lisa Tucker - "Because Of You" - girl was PITCHY. She's got a lot of power, but she's super-flat. Simon nailed it: the song was too big for her. And oh, look, more Seacrest vs. Judges nonsense. Sigh.
Kellie Pickler - "Suds In The Bucket" - Ugh. Okay, the song is boring and she's twanging it up, PLUS the low stuff is way below the range at which she loses her power. She just. Okay, I can't coherently react to her because I loathe her. The judges, all in agreement, are correct.
Ace Young - "Drops Of Jupiter" - sorry, Ace, honey, you don't have the chops to pull this off. Get the voice out of your nose and then we'll talk. It's also, dare I say, boring. The freaking puppy eyes, though. WHAT THE FUCK. Okay, are they trying to do A-Fed Redux? We did not need to see that scar, nor did we need the close-up on his (shaved?) chest.
Taylor Hicks - "Trouble" - as with The Pickler, I can't coherently react to him. HATE. I, unsurprisingly, have never heard this song. BORING. ...Seacrest, you are NOT allowed to insult the most popular judge and the most popular winner.
Mandisa - "Wanna Praise You" - okay, her range is amazing, but I was... not impressed. Less impressed than I'd expected to be, given what she's done before, certainly. Wow, and Simon nails it: indulgent.
Chris Daughtry - "What If?" - are you fucking KIDDING me? Boy did CREED?! Ugh.
Katharine McPhee - "The Voice Within" - well, it's like Christina in the run-ful-ness. The pitch? Maybe not the best. I don't agree with Simon, who said she was best of the night so far.
Bucky Covington - "Real Good Man" - snore. I have nothing else to add.
Paris Bennett - "Work It Out" - okay, that was pretty amazing. I'm not a Béyóncé fan, but Paris did it right.
Elliot Yamin - "I Don't Want To Be" - I hate this song with a passion. His vocals are great, but... argh.
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